Archive for the ‘Lists’ Category

This post is to help all guys as they progress through their significant other’s pregnancy….and trust me, it is THEIR pregnancy. Your role in this miracle of life is to be there for support and do whatever it is you are told, period.

When you are married you will have a to-do list and never complete it; won’t even come close. But it is all good though. The point is not to finish, rather, it is to show progress and the list itself. I have been married for almost 11 marvelous years; short I know, but I have learned that lists are key. Let me say that again, lists are key.

Don’t believe me? Ask your significant other and she will rattle off a myriad of items that need to be done.

My wife and I are expecting our 3rd, a little girl, any day now. Once you go through a pregnancy together you learn a few things. The following are excerpts from the lists I kept handy at all times. I broke them down per trimester for ease of use. So guys, pay attention so you can provide the right support for your wife during the 9 months of pregnancy.

The Beginning

First Trimester List:

  • Fluff the pillows
  • Watch the Road
  • Redecorate – Now would be a good time ti learn a bit about Interior Design
  • Redecorate Again
  • Do what I say
  • Admire my ass
  • Walk the cat
  • Turn off the alarm
  • Drop your attitude – You may not think you have one, but you do, so drop it
  • Appease me
  • Deal with it
  • Fix it – This will come up often and is a catch-all. You can never be too prepared so have your household tools at the ready
  • Trust me
  • Do it faster – You will never do it fast enough. Just keep trying
  • Cut your toenails – Maybe this just applies to me?
  • Let me sleep in-  you will hear this at varous times throughout the day
  • Get off the computer – If you work at home, you will receive IM’s about this
  • Kill that spider
  • Adopt a French accent – I would try Rosetta stone and find French people on Skype and practice with them
  • Make more money – Refer to redecorating and this will make perfect sense (my expereince – Prior to our second child, Kate, we installed hardwood floors top to bottom and re-painted the entire house…seriously we did)
  • Get rid of your junk – Yes it is junk
  • Humor me
  • Get me a drink
  • Let me finish
  • Hold this – it could be a wrapper of piece of chewed gum
  • Do what I say
  • Shut your mouth
  • Rub harder

The Middle

Second Trimester List

  • Stop sulking
  • Love me forever
  • Go to the store – You better hope it is open 24 hours
  • Pretend you’re listening
  • Admire my ass
  • Blow your nose
  • Flirt with me
  • Watch the road
  • Turn left at the light – What light?
  • Keep your voice down
  • Don’t Smoke
  • Cheer up
  • Hold me
  • Change faster
  • Grow a spine
  • Answer the phone
  • Call me back
  • Look it up
  • Answer me
  • Be a team player
  • Embrace difference
  • Pluck
  • Stop counting my carbs
  • Count your carbs
  • Take a pill
  • Grow it out
  • Turn off the light
  • Force the issue
  • Appease me
  • Call your mother
  • Change your ring tone – Guess vibrate is annoying
  • Feign jealousy
  • Tell me the truth

The End

Third Trimester List:

  • Tell me I am smart
  • Never say never
  • Convert
  • Eschew Martyrdom
  • Bend over
  • Cover your eyes
  • Project confidence
  • Prioritize
  • Learn CPR
  • Sleep on the couch – The king size bed sometimes isn’t enough room for two people
  • Consider me your muse
  • Predict the future
  • Be there for me
  • Speak up
  • Shut your mouth
  • Judge not
  • Act on impulse
  • Prepare a thorough plan
  • Stop the rain
  • Plot the escape route
  • Increase my joy
  • Transcend
  • Get a new personality
  • Carry me piggyback
  • Stop swearing
  • Learn to fly
  • Sprinkle it with sunshine
  • Be aggressive
  • Be passive
  • Be passive-aggressive
  • Renounce desire
  • Get your hands off me
  • Come home – This happens frequently after being told to go to the store and while you are still in the driveway
  • Caveat emptor – Take the definition literally
  • Finish me off
  • Walk on water

There is no doubt that you will be a busy husband during the pregnancy…remember I said excerpt of the lists.

All kidding aside; children are a blessing, help you maintain perspective, teach you what’s important in life, make you laugh (and cry!), and keep you super busy. What my wife has gone through to bring our kids into this world is nothing short of amazing. Hopefully she will get a little chuckle when she reads and reflects back on 27 months of pure craziness!

So what is on your list? Did you keep a list? Let me know. Thanks for reading.


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